Young carers learn a lot from their experiences. They learn how to help their parents. They learn how to distract their siblings in difficult moments. Sometimes, they just know what to do.

Below is a story about something that happened several months ago, possibly even last year. I have been meaning to blog about it for a while so here goes!

Lucy and I were waiting in the pharmacy to collect medication. I was tired and the queue moved slowly. Everyone in front of us seemed to have a problem to solve. Some more people had followed us in and the queue was long.

The door opened again and a young woman walked in with a small girl who looked about four years old. I saw the mum sigh and her eyes roll upwards as she realised how long the queue was.

The little girl was very lively. She began exploring the shelves of the pharmacy as young children do. She seemed oblivious to her mother who was telling her to leave things alone and encouraging her to go and sit down in the waiting area. The girl was in a world of her own, similar to the way Bethany used to be.

The little girl noticed a gap under the counter between shelves and surged towards it. She sat down and squeezed in. The mum looked mortified as she went over to try and extract her. Redirect, distract, redirect. The mum was working hard to try and contain her child whilst the queue just kept growing. I could see her becoming increasingly frustrated which was understandable.

I tried not to stare as my mind wandered back a few years to another pharmacy in another town. It was during the Pandemic when we were required to queue two metres apart. My autistic daughter was about four years old and we were queueing to collect my prescription. She was having a hard time waiting in the queue and I was having a hard time managing her.

That particular pharmacy had just had a refit. They didn’t have a physical barrier to keep customers from going behind the counter. It was just an “understood” rule. Except Bethany didn’t understand. On that day, I was the mum whose “naughty” child ran behind the counter and didn’t listen to her mum while people in the queue stared and silently judged.

Except my child wasn’t being naughty. She is autistic. She just didn’t understand the social rules. She was curious and exploring the store. She was and still is extremely active. I was so embarrassed, frustrated and overwhelmed. After that day I was determined not to take Bethany to the pharmacy again until she was capable of waiting and following “the rules.”

I stirred from my memory and looked over at the mum, trying to communicate compassion and understanding with my eyes as her daughter continued busily exploring the pharmacy. I wondered how I could help. Then my daughter made me proud.

Lucy walked over to the little girl and started talking to her, making friends with her. She knew from experience with Bethany that the other child just needed a distraction. I saw the mum relax a little and smile.

The girls went over to the waiting area and continued talking. They exchanged names, ages, talked about school and so on.

I was proud. My daughter was helping a stranger out. She saw a mum who needed help and knew how to help her.

It was finally my turn to collect my prescription. As I took my turn I could hear the children still talking by the waiting area. I smiled, pleased that Lucy had the confidence to make friends with strangers.

The queue was moving quicker now. I could see the young woman relaxing a bit. I told Lucy it was time to say goodbye and smiled at the small girl. As we walked out her mum caught my eye and mouthed the words, “thank you” to me. I smiled and nodded.

But really, I didn’t do anything at all to help. It was all Lucy, a young carer, who knew how to help a struggling mum with a challenging situation. Well done, Lucy!