React first, think later,

It’s a familiar dance,

Today, a slight push from an older sibling,

Then, a look of anger,

And an extreme reaction,

A large dice thrown hard in retaliation,

At her sister’s face.



I raised my voice,

“No! That’s naughty!”

“Don’t throw things at people.”

She ran to the lounge,

Slamming the door shut,

And lay down against it,

Blocking us out.



I can hear her sobbing.

My heart is divided,

I need to correct her,

To teach her to be gentle,

But I also long to give comfort,

I need her to know I still love her,

No matter what.



I am her safe place,

But somehow, I must correct.

This balance is hard to find,

When dealing with a fragile, volatile child,

With a severe communication disability,

And behaviours that challenge us,

Her favourite word is “no.”



I speak peace to myself,

Slow down and breathe,

Control yourself and give her time,

Stay home for now,

Let her calm down,

Analyse what happened,

Consider her reaction.



Why did she run away?

Why did she shut us out?

Was she fearful?

Was she hiding in shame for what she did?

Was she simply trying to calm herself down?

Was it all those things?

What do I do now?



I wait.

I wait for the calm after her storm,

Then, I remind her to be gentle,

I remind her not to throw things at people,

Throwing things at people is naughty,

Throwing things at people hurts them,

I reassure her of my love.



Then, I hope and pray,

Pray that she learns to control her temper in time,

I remember the things she used to do,

Like biting,

She rarely bites now,

I remember her progress and hope for further growth,

I will never stop loving her.



Written by Jennifer Johnson, 2025