For some reason Bethany has never used her index finger to point. She will either gesture with her whole hand or she will point with her middle finger.

Yes, you read that correctly. My seven year old daughter uses “the birdie” gesture to point at things. It happened again today. She asked for an apple as she gave “the birdie” gesture towards the fruit bowl on top of the fridge.

I gently reminded her to use her index finger to point. I don’t want her pointing with her middle finger.  But she doesn’t understand.

She will probably continue to do this into her teens. What if I’m not there to explain?

Google AI defines giving the birdie as “a slang expression that refers to giving someone the middle finger, which is a hand gesture that is generally considered offensive and expresses anger or disrespect. It’s a common way to show disapproval or displeasure.”

I fear the day that she tries to point at something and gets misunderstood.  The people present may not realise she is autistic and doesn’t comprehend rude gestures. And what if she does it to a police officer or something?

I am sure Bethany is not the only autistic person to gesture in a way that can be easily misunderstood, just because of the world that we live in. If only there were no rude gestures! If only I could explain it better. If only she understood!

So I’m telling people now: don’t assume the worst of people. Give people some grace when they upset you. They may have no idea that they did or said something that caused offence. They may be completely oblivious.

So I’m writing this for the record. Please don’t be offended if my daughter gives you “the birdie.” I can assure you, she didn’t mean any offence.

Gestures mean different things in different cultures too. We have to be careful when we travel to other places, lest we accidentally offend others.