I’m away from home this week with Lucy, but without John. I’m not sure what is wrong with Lucy but she has been clingy all week. It’s either a new phase, she’s getting sick, or she’s missing her home and her daddy.

Today has been the hardest, to the point that every time I left the room she panicked, and every time I tried to put her down for a nap she cried. It wasn’t the normal kind of fuss-it-out crying. It was sheer “I need you mummy, don’t leave me” crying. At first I was kind of frustrated, because I had things I was hoping to do this afternoon. Then I just gave in and embraced the moment.

We snuggled together for two hours this afternoon while Lucy napped on my chest, and I reminded myself that one day she will grow out of this. One day there will be a final time for her to nap in my arms. I rubbed her little back and stroked her head; trying to forget my own aching back.

Fast forward to bed time and it was the same scenario: Lucy didn’t want me to put her down. I decided to snuggle with her in the chair for twenty minutes before trying to settle her in the travel cot. We cuddled and rubbed noses, and she played with my hair. I whispered to her in the dark and told her that daddy is coming tomorrow.

We sat there in the dark; awake and enjoying the cuddle when all of a sudden Lucy sighed contentedly, and spoke the word, “mama.” My heart melted. It hit me all of a sudden, that it didn’t matter why she needed me. She just needed me today. She needed cuddles with her mama today.

The world to babies and toddlers is very small. We parents are their world. They look to us for everything. Every single thing! The parents of little ones have God-like status to them.

I wondered in the darkness how I’m doing. Am I giving Lucy the right view of God? A God who sends his rain upon the just and the unjust. A God who offers forgiveness of sins to all who will come to him in repentance. A God who delights in mercy. A God who delights in giving, even when we don’t always deserve it.

The eyes of all wait upon him and he gives them their meat in due season. He opens his hand and satisfies the desire of every living thing. May God help me to show my daughter(s) what God is like by my own responses to their needs, their sins, their complaints, and at times, their overwhelming expectations.

Originally written and posted on Facebook in July 2017