It has been a crazy six months! Packing up the house began in September and we moved North to Mid Wales in November ’22. The girls both had to change school. So they were both adjusting to living in a new house, a new town, a new church, and getting to know new teachers and new friends.

Amazingly the transition went really well. It helped that we moved to the same town as my sister’s family and were familiar with the area and the housing estate where we now live. But it was still a lot of change to cope with, particularly for our youngest autistic daughter who coped superbly!

Since starting at their new schools, both girls have settled well. Lucy’s teacher gives me glowing reports and she has made some friends. Bethany is very settled and enjoying her new school.

Bethany is starting to speak a little more, still occasional random words (not sentences), and only when she feels like it. But it is progress. She is also paying more attention and seeking out interaction at times. At school she is learning about waiting, turn taking, sharing, and developing her ability to sit for set activities. They also do a lot of learning through play and movement activities to get the wriggles out.

I believe there are signs that Bethany is making some great developmental leaps. She is giving a lot more attention and eye contact and showing signs of understanding spoken language and some body language.

Bethany recently started to shake or nod her head to indicate yes and no. These may sound like small things. They are gestures that most of us pick up relatively easily, but for Bethany, this has taken a long time. She only started using her finger to point last summer and hasn’t until now been able to tell me yes or no other than fussing for a no when upset.

Last night, as usual, Bethany didn’t want me to touch her hair before bed. She shook her head and leaned back on the cushions so I couldn’t touch her head. I told her that I understood she doesn’t like me doing her hair at night. She’s too tired. I told her that I wouldn’t brush it, but I would like to put it up in bunches so it didn’t get too messy and tangled overnight. I said, if I didn’t put it up it would be very tangled in the morning and it would hurt to have it brushed. I asked her again to please let me put her hair up. After a minute of processing,  Bethany sat forward and let me put her hair up. To me that demonstrated her capability to understand language, to be reasoned with, and to be flexible. This is progress!

I noticed a slight smell from the PJs she was wearing. I told her the PJs were smelly and did she want me to change them? She shook her head. I asked if she was sure and held up some other PJs. She shook her head again. I asked if she wanted to stay in the smelly PJs and she nodded her head. I said okay and that I would wash them tomorrow.  Again, this demonstrated that although she is mainly non verbal, she could understand my questions and respond to them.

My final question, instead of checking her nappy as I normally do, I asked; “do you need a clean nappy?” I held one up as a visual clue to my question. Again she shook her head. I marvelled. My girl is understanding me. And she is saying yes and no through her gestures. This is such enormous progress and ought to be celebrated!

With all of this progress comes a lot of hope. For the past few years we have wondered at times whether Bethany would ever talk. I feel optimistic about that now due to the progress she is making. Of course, that is cautious optimism, because for Bethany it often seems that progress goes two steps forward, one step back. For now we are moving forward, and I am thankful.

Bethany will never out-grow her autism. There will always be struggles. But if we can support her to a point where she can achieve her full potential and be able to communicate her needs we will have done well.

Bethany will always be autistic, but that is not who she is. Autism is woven into her and the way she responds to life’s stimuli, but it isn’t who she is. She’s a beautiful, loving, independently minded girl who loves dresses, princesses, and the colour purple. She loves to play and run and puddle jump. She loves to pour water and splash in the bath. She loves music and video and parties and chocolate cake. She has dealt with a lot in nearly 5 1/2 years of life. But she is stronger for it and currently thriving. I’m excited to see what she will achieve next!